Brought to you by The Imperial Hotel. 

Life is chaos, right?

Kids screaming, work emails pinging, the existential dread of realising you’ve just spent three hours doomscrolling

If you’re ready for a two-week holiday but the budget doesn’t quite stretch to that much relaxation, Escape Spa at the Imperial Hotel in Cork have just launched a midweek miracle, and it’s called the Duo Wellness Journey Package.

Honestly, the name alone has us checking the work calendar for available sneaky holiday dates.

Here’s the lowdown, because let’s be real, you’re busy:

You get to wallow in their Vitality Suite for an hour. Hydrotherapy pool? Aroma steam room? Yes please.
Then, you pick two treatments. And not just any treatments, mind you. We’re talking warm oil back massages, customised facials, the works.

Guests choose one of the following:

1: Warm Oil Back Massage + Customised Facial

2: Customised Facial + Choice of Marine Eye Enhancement or Neck and Décolleté Treatment

3: Dry Brushing Body Exfoliation + Full Body Hydration

4: Warm Oil Back, Neck & Shoulder Massage + Mini Indian Head Massage

Basically, they’re going to pummel and polish you for 50 minutes until you resembling a gleaming, stress-free god or goddess.

There’s a starlit relaxation room. Starlit! Like you’re in a tiny, gorgeous planetarium.

And, get this, a free lunch in Helena’s Restaurant – all for €149, Monday to Thursday.

So, ditch the to-do list, tell the kids you’re going on a “self-care mission”, and book yourself in. You can call them on 021 730 6622, email escape@imperialhotelcork.ie or book online here.

If you don’t look after yourself, who will?