Are you on the hunt for a new gaff?

If you’re the type of person whose bank manager wouldn’t burst out laughing at a mortgage application for a cool €1m, there’s a little slice of heaven waiting for you in Mallow.

Bearforest is a a grand old dame set on 20 gorgeous acres of parkland… and it’s just hit the market at a cool €950,000.

Named in honour of local landowner Richard Beare, the house was built in 1807 for Mr Robert Delacour.

It was designed by Sir Richard Morrison, the architect behind some of Ireland’s most beautiful country houses, including Ballyfin in Co Laois, Ireland’s most exclusive hotel.

The beautiful bow front opens into an entrance hall floored in green marble. Past the curved staircase there’s a front sitting room with French doors onto a terrace.

On the other side of the hall, a cosy, book-lined study (compete with open fire) leads into the huge drawing room and elegant dining room (imagine the parties).

Loosely translated, the Latin inscription over the door of Bearforest House means ‘the place less distracted by envious care’.

And with a bit of updating, it could be your own personal getaway from life’s distractions or a brilliant base for any number of home businesses.

There are nine bedrooms in total and the five on the first floor are all exceptionally generous, with high ceilings, en-suites in each and sweeping views of trees, rolling fields and the Nagles Mountains.

The stable courtyard boasts a coach house, working stables and a staff apartment, while at the end of the driveway, the two-bedroom gate lodge offers yet more accommodation.

The grounds and gardens are picture perfect and the remains of the old Victorian walled gardens are just waiting for the right green fingers to bring it back to life.

You can check out the full listing here. Now… we’re off to buy a Lotto ticket.